Manifesto/1.0 Comparisons - Revision history

Smartin: add summary of changes

2013-11-19T19:19:47Z

add summary of changes

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:19, 19 November 2013
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	Mitchell: OK either way, happy to defer to your sense of ease of parsing. So OK with recommendation.		Mitchell: OK either way, happy to defer to your sense of ease of parsing. So OK with recommendation.

			==Summary of Changes==

			Summary of approved text changes:

			*Principle #3 - replace "should" with "must"
			*Principle #4 - add "and privacy" after "security" and replace "cannot" with "must not"
			*Principle #5 - add "the Internet, and" after "shape" and replace "it" with "the Internet".
			*Principle #8 - remove the comma after "accountability"
			*Principle #9 - change "goals" to "profit"

2013-11-06T02:42:06Z

Comma Removal #10

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:42, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: neither. The mental pause caused by the comma is useful in parsing the sentence.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: neither. The mental pause caused by the comma is useful in parsing the sentence.

			Mitchell: OK either way, happy to defer to your sense of ease of parsing. So OK with recommendation.

2013-11-06T02:40:59Z

Comma Removal #8

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:40, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: both. Consistency is good.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: both. Consistency is good.

			Mitchell: hah, i learned comma etiquette in law school, and perhaps acceptable style guides have changed even there. OK with recommendation.

	===Comma Removal #10===		===Comma Removal #10===

2013-11-06T02:39:05Z

Change 'goals' to 'profit'

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:39, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: both.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: both.

			Mitchell: There are a bunch of nuances here, but I think this change is good. Commercial goals could include great user experience, etc, but the piece we want to balance is where the benefit ("profit" in a larger, non-monetary sense, e.g., "benefit") accrues.
			So, agree with recommendation.

	===Comma Removal #5===		===Comma Removal #5===

2013-11-06T02:36:08Z

Consistent Use of "Must" and "Must Not"

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:36, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: both. Consistency is good, as is strength.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: both. Consistency is good, as is strength.

			Mitchell: Altered #4 seems better to me; agree here. Altered number 3 feels a bit weird. But I agree with the consistency piece. So agree with the recommendation of changing both.

	===Change 'goals' to 'profit'===		===Change 'goals' to 'profit'===

2013-11-06T02:34:25Z

Removal of 'Individuals'

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:34, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: neither. A focus on individuals here sharpens the principle; you can't then say the manifesto is simply arguing for anebulous "more security". And we don't need this for length reasons.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: neither. A focus on individuals here sharpens the principle; you can't then say the manifesto is simply arguing for anebulous "more security". And we don't need this for length reasons.

			Mitchell: Agree with recommendation. Keeping a focus on the individual human experience adds value.

	===Consistent Use of "Must" and "Must Not" ===		===Consistent Use of "Must" and "Must Not" ===

2013-11-06T02:33:22Z

Shorten Principle #9

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:33, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: Twitter only. The shorter version says something a bit different to the longer one.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: Twitter only. The shorter version says something a bit different to the longer one.

			Mitchell: Agree with the recommendation.

	==Other Proposed Changes==		==Other Proposed Changes==

2013-11-06T02:32:40Z

Shorten Principle #6

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:32, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: Twitter only. Removing "effectiveness" does alter the meaning.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: Twitter only. Removing "effectiveness" does alter the meaning.

			Mitchell: Agree re "effectiveness." Also find the original sentence to be easier to read and understand. Agree with the recommendation.

	===Shorten Principle #9===		===Shorten Principle #9===

2013-11-06T02:31:40Z

Shorten Principle #1

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:31, 6 November 2013
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	Gerv and Stacy recommend: Twitter only. This list of things are possible without the internet, so the word "part" is significant. We don't want to make over-broad claims.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: Twitter only. This list of things are possible without the internet, so the word "part" is significant. We don't want to make over-broad claims.

			Mitchell: I think the altered claim is probably true, but the manifesto should be relevent even for people who think "part" is necessary, so I agree with the recommendation.

	===Shorten Principle #6===		===Shorten Principle #6===

2013-10-09T10:34:01Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:34, 9 October 2013
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	'''Altered #10''': Magnifying the public benefit aspects of the Internet is an important goal worthy of time, attention and commitment.		'''Altered #10''': Magnifying the public benefit aspects of the Internet is an important goal worthy of time, attention and commitment.

	Gerv and Stacy recommend: neither The mental pause caused by the comma is useful in parsing the sentence.		Gerv and Stacy recommend: neither. The mental pause caused by the comma is useful in parsing the sentence.