Talk:Thunderbird/FundingAppeal2014/Script

Feedback from Florian:

• Thanks for starting this! The content is what I would expect, but maybe someone could help rephrasing some of it so that it sounds more exciting. I'm afraid I can't help with that.
• Here are some specific points that I think could be improved:
  • In a few places I felt that the text is separating 'us' (TB contributors) vs 'you' (potential donor), eg. "what's been happening lately with us, and ask for your help" "Can you help us". I think it would be more motivating to phrase it so that people feel included, ie. giving money would be a way to take part in our efforts.
  • "sell your privacy" doesn't make much sense to me, would "sell your private data" express the same thing?
  • In a few places, I think "our users"/"users" could be replaced with just "you" to make the message more directed.