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= Part 2: Communication Skills =
= Part 2: Communication Skills =


== Giving and receiving feedback ==
== Non-violent communication ==


20 minutes
Non-violent communication (NVC) is a method for communicating more effectively with one another and in reducing conflict in our interactions. It is based on cultivating a deeper understanding of our needs and emotions in relation to others.


Goal: Active listening helps people to be more aware of their space and their fellow participants. Through active listening we can build stronger and more cohesive communities of change. Participants will learn to listen to one another, not just hear one another.
There are four components of NVC:


Active listening is a useful skill for all sorts of situations – whether you're taking part in meetings and workshops or dealing with conflict. By actively listening we can come to understand how the speaker feels about a subject or situation – we hear through their words and tune into their underlying emotions, concerns and tensions.
# observation and listening (without evaluation)
# identifying feelings
# recognizing needs
# making requests


Though active listening is outside the immediate scope of this workshop, please find more information and an activity regarding active listening [[/Contribute/Facilitation_Training/Active_Listening|here]]
=== NVC Activity: Feelings & Needs Poker ===


There are three levels of active listening.
Adapted from [http://opencommunication.org/how-to-use-cards.html].


=== Levels of Listening ===
For 2 or more players.
==== Level 1: Internal Listening (All About Me) ====


At Level 1, your awareness is on yourself. You listen to the words of the other person, but your
* One person is the Storyteller and the other(s) are Listeners.
attention is on what it means to you. The spotlight is on ‘me’: my thoughts, my judgments, my
* The Storyteller holds the Feelings cards and the Listeners split up the Needs cards.
feelings, my opinions, and my conclusions. Some of the questions you might be asking are:
* The Storyteller tells a brief story of an incident as a contributor (positive or negative) which has stirred their feelings.
* After telling the story, they select several feelings cards which seem relevant for them.
* Then the listener(s) take turns guessing Needs which may relate to the Feelings cards shown, laying down one Need card at a time next to the Feeling card, and speaking in a question format, such as. "Are/were you feeling …(name the feeling on the card) because of your need for…?"
* Continue giving the listeners turns until they have no more guesses.
* The Storyteller (who has listened without comment) then chooses one or more Needs cards that particularly resonate for them and speaks briefly about that and how s/he feels about it.
* The Storyteller position then rotates to the next person and so on until all have had turns.


* How does this relate to me?
== Giving and receiving feedback ==
* What’s interesting about this to me?
* How am I doing?
* What can I add to this?
* How am I feeling?
* What do they think of me?


==== Level 2: Focused Listening (All About Another Person) ====
Active listening is a useful skill for all sorts of situations – whether you're taking part in meetings and workshops or dealing with conflict. By actively listening we can come to understand how the speaker feels about a subject or situation – we hear through their words and tune into their underlying emotions, concerns and tensions.
 
At Level 2, there is a sharp focus on the other person. Sometimes you can see it in each person’s
posture: both leaning forward, looking intently at each other. There is a great deal of attention
on the other person and not much awareness of the outside world. You listen for the other
person’s words, meaning, challenges, emotions. You notice what they say and how they say it.
Level 2 listening communicates empathy, clarification and collaboration. Some of the questions
you might be asking are:
 
* What does this mean to him or her?
* What does he or she need or want?
* What is she/he feeling?
* What is going on for her/him?
* How is this working for her/him?
* How can we connect?
 
==== Level 3: Global Listening (All About the Energy) ====
 
To listen at Level 3 you must be open and ready to listen for information that may not be directly
observable. You are listening to the people you as well as the environment. It is sometimes
described as environmental listening. It is the ability to read a room – the mood, the emotions,
the unspoken information – and monitor how it changes in response to what you do. Comedians,
musicians, trainers have this ability. It includes observing the action, the inaction, and the
interaction in a group. Good questions to ask yourself when listening at this level are:
 
* What’s needed here?
* What is happening in the space?
* What is the quality of the energy?
* What is being called for here?
* Is something missing? Is there too much of something?
 
=== Activity ===
8 minutes
 
# Create groups of 4 (okay to double-up if group does not evenly divide into 4).
# Assign roles as follows:
#* Storyteller
#* Internal listener
#* Focused listener
#* Global listener
# Storyteller tells a story for 5 minutes. Listeners practice listening only in their assigned modes.
 
Debrief: Have each of the listeners talk about what they noticed.
 
== Part 2.2: Giving and Receiving Feedback ==
15 minutes
 
One suggestion is that we anchor this around NVC principles. We'll only have time to give a brief overview, but it will get people thinking about another way to think about our responses and our reactions.
 
=== Non-violent communication ===
 
Four components of NVC:
 
# observation (without evaluation)
# feeling
# needs
# request
 
The process:
 
* The concrete actions we are observing that are affecting our well-being
* How we feel in relation to what we are observing
* The needs, values, desires, etc. that are creating our feelings
* The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives
 
Two parts:
 
# expressing honest through the four components
# receiving empathically through the four components
 
Empathy: emptying the mind and listening with our whole being
 
Asking for and receiving reflection.
 
Express appreciation as a way to celebrate, not to manipulate.


Saying thank you: "This is what you did; this is what I feel; this is the need of mind that was met."
Though active listening is outside the immediate scope of this workshop, please find more information and an activity regarding active listening [[Contribute/Facilitation_Training/Active_Listening|here]]


=== Other strategies ===
=== Other strategies ===
Ckoehler
canmove, Confirmed users, Bureaucrats and Sysops emeriti
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